Home Alone Dad Day 8

One day to go...mommy arrives tomorrow.

We spent the morning at Parque Mexico with my cousins who pitched in to entertain the hellion.

Mommy had better be bringing me some duty free Crown Royal...I have earned it.

Untitled from Guy Courchesne on Vimeo.

Home Alone Dad Day 7

We're in the home stretch...today was all about partying! Mexico City's annual gay pride march starting at 11 AM and we arrived to find that it didn't start until about 1 PM. Stella fell asleep in my arms so I only got the barest of footage.

Mommy's colleague the Fongster held an end of year BBQ at her place which got rained out to some degree. Hamburgers, music, and busting up some furniture was still the order of the day however.

And how could you top it all off better than with a 4-2 Copa de Oro final victory by Mexico over most hated rival USA?

Mommy is home in two days...

Untitled from Guy Courchesne on Vimeo.

Home Alone Dad Day 6

Some relief today when the nanny came by to take Stella to the park and to help clean up around the pad. It started raining around 2 PM and stayed that way so Stella the Artist and I remained inside, colouring, tickling, and reading.

Miss you lots, mommy.



If that video doesn't load for you because it's blocked, here's the Vimeo version.

Stay at Home Dad Day 6 from Guy Courchesne on Vimeo.

Home Alone Daddy Day 5

Rain put a damper on our outdoor plans today. After downloading Dumbo and Pinocchio, calling Domino's Pizza, and serving up ice cream, we hardly noticed the rain.

Home Alone Daddy Day 4

Someone gave us a tea set for Stella's birthday (thank you whoever you are!)...oh, why didn't I unpack this three days ago? Stella loves it!

We went super girlie today, playing dress up, having tea, frying ants with a magnifying glass...oh no, that last one was my childhood as a boy. We had fun nonetheless.

Special note to Kristen - wish I could have found the original blue dress.

Home Alone Daddy Day 3

Daddy's Log, Playdate June 21st, 2011 - the Longest day of the year. We docked at Port Velarde today for some much needed R and R. The base commander was more than happy to provide swimming and babysitting services. This is Day 3 of our journey with 5 more to go. I think we may just make it after all.

Home Alone Daddy Day 2

I don't know if I can make it. 6 more days and I am utterly and completely OWNED by this little hellion.

Send help.

Home Alone Daddy

Today I embarked on a perilous journey...perhaps the most challenging challenge in the history of challenge. Today, mommy left for an 8 day conference in Washington DC leaving daddy, home alone, with a monster.



I've faced tough battles in my time but this one will test my limits. I plan to keep a log, for future generations of stay at home dads, in case I don't survive to tell the tale.

Day 1.

Go the F*CK to Sleep!

Not actually for kids, but EVERY parent can appreciate this running away best seller.

See it on Amazon.

This book was actually leaked early and Internet piracy has vaulted into must-read and cult status. But the best has only just arrived with a Samuel L Jackson narration of an audio version.

Listen to Samuel read. (you probably don't want your children listening)

Stella and Dog Training

My significant other and I have two dogs, Tequila and Chela (I didn't name them!). Tequila was picked up as gift in Honduras as a pup and is better traveled than I am. Chela was a Mexico City street find. Both have been great though not without some housebreaking problems.

When Stella came along, I was something nervous as a new and overly protective father. How would the dogs adjust and would they present a danger to newborn Stella, either by being rough with her or from allergens in the air. None of my concerns was ever warranted thankfully and Stella loves them both.

Stella is old enough now at 19 months to help daddy put out the dog food dishes and pick them up, in fact she insists on helping. She likes to give treats to the doggies and is learning hand signals and commands, to tell the dogs to sit and lay down.



Here's Stella learning how to do it.

Museo Papalote Mexico City

The happiest place in Mexico City! I can't believe I went 10 years living here without having visited, though since it is for kids I guess I didn't have a good reason until now.

http://www.papalote.mx/

The museum in Chapultepec park is geared towrds kids and features hands-on science, tech, and cultural exhibits. There's an IMAX theatre inside and constantly changing feature exhibits. What impressed me most were the dozens of workshops run every hour by great staff, everything from how paper is made, to working with electricity, to art and more. Stella is too young for the workshops, so we stuck to the under-3 displays and exhibits but we'll be back every year I think. 12 dollars gets you in.

Reyes Magos - First Time for Stella

Stella got her first visit from los Reyes Magos in Mexico City this year, after we decided to start observing the tradition, alongside Santa. Los Reyes visit Mexican kids on the evening of January 5th. Some kids write a not to the Three Kings and leave it in their shoe. Other kids tie the note to a helium filled balloon and launch it into the sky so that it reaches the home of the Three Kings, behind the stars.

We decided to try the balloon method.



The tears dried up when we found out the three kings answered our letter super quick!

What to do with a wild 15 month old in Mexico?

Take her to gymboree, of course! Burn off some of that energy.

For the last 6 weeks, mommy and daddy have been taking Stella Olivia over to gymboree for 45 minute sessions in playgym (instructor lead activities), music (instructor lead banging on things and dancing), and open gym to use the facilities as parents see fit.

It's been a blast and both a great outlet for Stella's growing energy and a way for her to socialize with other toddlers her age.

Some video from today's open gym.

Paternity Leave?

A story from the BBC caught my eye.

The politics of paternity leave

It is those precious early moments with a new child that so many fathers treasure. A time to bond with their offspring and offer invaluable assistance to the mother.

After welcoming new daughter Florence into the world, Prime Minister David Cameron is taking his statutory paternity leave to be with his wife Samantha.

But it is an experience that not all his fellow fathers feel they can justify. Thanks to decades of shifting attitudes, their reluctance is not based chiefly on chauvinism or a belief that childcare is woman's work. The problem, instead, is money.

Some 45% of new fathers said they did not take paternity leave, according to a 2009 report by the Equality and Human Rights Commission. Of those, 88% said they would have liked to have done so, and 49% said they could not afford it.

As it stands, new fathers with long enough service are entitled to £124.88 a week for two weeks, or 90% of their average weekly wage if that is lower. Assuming a 40-hour working week, it is a figure that comes in well below the minimum wage.

Fathers can take an additional 13 weeks off, unpaid, before the child turns five and, from April 2011, new mothers will be able to transfer the second half of their year-long maternity leave to the father. But this too will be unpaid, thus, again, of little help to those without the necessary savings.

For many families, the situation reinforces the traditional norm that the father is the breadwinner and the mother the homemaker.

Self-employed in Mexico, there is no government scheme I could have taken advantage of. As parents, we simply took the decision to reduce my schedule and workload to stay at home more while mommy went back to work. Mexico doesn't offer very much by way of maternity leave as it is, so I wouldn't expect there to be anything for fathers.

Maternity leave in Mexico (for those employed and paying into the Mexican social system) allows 100% paid leave for a full 88 days. That's all. Half of those days must be taken before the birth which is absurd as many women, including my girlfriend, are just fine working right up to almost the last moment. After the birth, mommy is tossed off paid maternity leave a mere 5 weeks later.

Some people get better packages through their work and private insurance, which we could have done as well. Had it been impossible for me to adjust my schedule, mommy would have certainly taken a full year off work.

I think Mexico hasn't made any changes to the maternity leave system simply because no one is pushing for it. Mexican families are much larger as a rule than their British or North American counterparts, and at every age a child is almost always in the company of aunts, uncles, and grandparents who usually live in the same neighbourhood. While women are certainly a large and important part of the Mexican work force (to varying degrees around the country), families are generally close and it is not common to see a women select career over family.

Raising the Kids to be Bilingual

You might think that a pair of Canadians raising a child in Mexico means the achieving bilingualism is automatic - taken for granted. That was my thinking when we chose to have a baby. After 14 months, it's proving to be more work than I thought, but not an impossible challenge.

We speak mostly English in the home with Stella, though reading time is a mix of both as we've collected an enormous library of children's books written in both English and Spanish. I've been using select programming from Nick Jr, a channel carried on Sky (Mexican satellite tv provider). Dora la Exploradora and a few other programs that are 90% Spanish. We also have a nanny that watches Stella when both mom and dad are at work (about 40% of the year) and she speaks 100% Spanish. So, it looks like we have all the right tools in place.

Stella is not talking yet...a few words here in there, and lots of ba-ba-babble. I'm told that kids raised in a bilingual environment will normally take a bit longer to start speaking so no worries as yet. What I'm most impressed with is her ability to understand either language.

Whether it's Spanish or English -though mostly English - Stella demonstrates a very understanding of what's said to her. "Please bring daddy the ball" is answered quickly by her looking for the ball (among a mountain of toys) and bringing it to daddy. Using some Spanish like "donde esta la pelota?" is producing the same result.

It will be interesting to see what her first phrases are, beyond the yes/no, hi/bye, mama/papa words she's already using. I am hoping it won't be something like:

"Papa, here's the pelota. Donde esta my bottle of leche?"

But even if it is, I'll still be happy.

Raising Children in Mexico - A Canadian's View

14 months old is my little Mexican-Canadian daughter...frijolera and canucka, all rolled into one little ball of joy and smiles.

My girlfriend and I are both Canadians, living and working as teachers in Mexico City and when we decided to start a family, we made the decision to have our baby here. That choice entailed lots of questions and research, not only on hospitals and doctors, but on legal questions of nationality and long term factors like education. We're happy with our decision while our daughter reaps the benefits of being dual-cultured well on the way to being bilingual.

Here are some thoughts I have on the challenges and benefits of having a child in Mexico as a foreigner, in case you've stumbled upon this post looking for information on the subject.

Health care. Canadians often take health care for granted, given our universal coverage. Mexico is a good example of what happens to a country that has a two-tiered system and little oversight. A mixed and confusing bag of all levels of care, ranging from very low-cost state care to high-cost private care with anything and everything in between. We had some specific traits we were looking for in a hospital and doctor and after awhile, we found what we wanted.

While we had access to nearly-free care, the state system didn't meet our needs. We wanted to ensure that mother and baby would be together at all times, instead of baby being in the nursery all day and night. We didn't want formula to be given to the baby - breastfeeding only. As the father, I wanted to be in the delivery room and stay with mother and baby in a private room.

After looking at several hospitals, one finally fit the bill and the delivery went smoothly. It certainly cost money, but not an unreasonable sum. The doctors we'd chosen were unbelievably good - attentive and available. All in all, it was a better experience than we could have found in the Canadian system.

Nannies, diet, and playtime. We also needed to make some decisions on work, childcare, and schedules. I am lucky to be able to set my own hours at work over the course of the year, so the decision was made for me to play stay-at-home dad for much of the first year. A nanny would help out for the times I did need to work.

Choosing a nanny turned out to be easy. We live in a mixed neighbourhood with plenty of families and have gotten to know many of our neighbours over the year (we bought an apartment in central Mexico City just before Stella was born). Our nanny lives with several of her family members half a block away and has a three-year-old son of her own. She has been a dream and an inexpensive one at that. Stella is quite happy with her and we rest easy knowing she is in good hands while we work.

Nutrition and diet for Stella are other important factors of course. Both my girlfriend and I are big foodies and healthy eaters and the food in Mexico is the top reason we both choose to live here. We wanted to ensure that Stella ate as healthily as possible right from the get go so access to whole and natural foods was important. Local fruits and veggies are a year-round thing and very low-cost here. Very little processed foods are to be found in my cupboards or on Stella's plate. We started her on solids at 6 months of age, introducing fresh avocado, peas, carrots, and a few other usual suspects and haven't looked back. It amazes me thinking back to my own childhood how many things I refused to eat and here's Stella, gleefully trying everything we offer - and none of it has ever come from a jar, a can, or a tetrapak.

Nationality and Education. Having been born in Mexico, Stella was automatically given Mexican citizenship. The hospital provides a record of the birth which one brings to the Registro Civil (civil registry) to obtain a birth certificate. Super simple. Getting her Canadian citizenship was a little more time consuming, mostly due to a change in laws in Canada right around the time of her birth. Nonetheless, after a couple of trips to the Canadian embassy and a number of documents, her citizenship card arrived after 10 months. Strangely, the embassy was able to issue her a Canadian passport with few questions asked, and in less than 15 days whle she was still still a few months old.

Education is probably our biggest concern - and paying for it. Like health care, education in Mexico offers a dizzying array of choices, from state-provided to all levels of private. Stella will be able to attend my girlfriend's school at a significant discount, but it's still expensive. Pre-school and kindergarten will be our first proving ground and both quality and cost will be concerns. Down the road, there is university to consider and while we'd like her to attend a Canadian university, Stella will have to be a resident to avoid the costs of enrolling as a foreign student. That may mean doing at least 2 years at a Canadian high school, complicating matters. I guess we'll see.

All in all, raising Stella here in Mexico is the best thing we could have done for her. She gets the best of both worlds and leads a happy, healthy little life.

Until the terrible twos, at least.